Two Men Act Insane On Black Friday. No One Can Tell The Difference.
Shopping on Black Friday
As a Black Friday prank, two men went into a Target store and ask employees for ridiculous things on their shopping lists just to see how far they could blah blah blah… its’ funny.
Watch it HERE.
Adam Corolla Calls Occupy Protestors “Self-Entitled Monsters”. Is Almost Always Right.
Adam Carolla is Nearly Always Right
I certainly don’t agree with everything Adam Corolla says, but I don’t think anyone (smart) can (honestly) disagree that Adam Corolla is awesome. He’s too liberal for some conservatives and too conservative for some liberals. That’s because he speaks his mind without worrying about what either side thinks. He’s also articulate, funny as Hell, and has more common sense in his pinky finger than Glenn Beck and Bill Maher have in their combined inflated egos.*
Corolla has spoken his mind about Occupy Wall Street in his hugely popular podcast, which has gotten passed around a lot today. In it, he says:
“There’s something that’s come up in this country that didn’t used to exist, which is envy, and it’s a big issue. We are now dealing with the first wave of participation trophy, my-own-fecal-matter-doesn’t-stink, empowered … everybody’s a winner, there are no losers .”
“We’ve created a bunch of [expletive] self-entitled monsters… people are so far out of it in what they expect and what they think realistic is and what the set of rules that pertains to them versus the other guys- Because that’s what the bottom line is. ‘I want my Most Valuable Player trophy.’ ‘Well, you’re the slowest, fattest guy on the team.’ Why should he get one and I don’t?’ ‘Because he busts his a** and he runs a 4.4 40. That’s why he gets one.’”
I swear, if this guy was President, he’d solve half our problems in two years.
*Please note how classy I am for not suggesting that Corolla has more common sense in his pinky finger than Michael Moore has in his entire 700 pound body.
PETA Unveils New Celebrity Stamps, Criticizes Super Mario, Kills Adorable Animals
PETA Stamp
PETA just unveiled a new line of postage stamps featuring famous vegetarians, ranging from great historical figures (Mahatma Ghandi) to idiots willing to prostitute themselves for fame (Steve-O).
Other celebrities with their own stamps include Bob Barker (former host of The Price Is Right), Paul McCartney (former founder and front man for the rock group Wings), Leonardo da Vinci (star of Titanic and other films), and Natalie Portman (died while gaving birth to Luke Skywalker).
Super Mario, who PETA recently criticized for wearing animal fur in his latest release, Super Mario 3D Land, (LINK: ) was not honored with a stamp.
Fun Fact, According to the website petakillsanimals.com: “Since 1998, PETA has opted to ‘put down’ 25,840 adoptable dogs, cats, puppies, and kittens instead of finding them ‘forever homes.’ In 2010, PETA employees killed 94 percent of the dogs and cats in their care.”
SOURCE:
http://www.petakillsanimals.com/
Lady GaGa Is Topless, As Scary As Ever
Lady Gaga in Vanity Fair
Lady GaGa is in topless in the new issue of Vanity Fair.
Depending on who you are, this is either really good, or really bad news.
Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show: Soft Porn That Husbands and Wives Can Enjoy Together
Victoria's Secret Christmas Show
Last night was Christmas in November, the night of the Annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. It’s the night that men watch beautiful girls on TV walk around in underwear and their wives actually encourage it – the one night a year that husbands and wives watch soft pornography together.
This year, the show’s looks were divided into different slutty themes – superheroes, ballet, passion, underwater, turn-of-the-century New Orleans and “Club Pink,” a sparkly homage to the brand’s loungewear line. SOURCE: CBS News
Come to think of it, this sounds more like Halloween than Christmas.
I remember watching the show a few years ago: if featured a segment where a group of people went across the country, giving girls everywhere a chance to try out to be in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Girls all over America went crazy and signed up.
To summarize… A group of people went around the country and told (hot) girls, everywhere, that they would allow (hot) girls the opportunity to strip down to their underwear and walk back and forth while they watched and judged them. Ultimately, these people would pick their favorite (hot) girl, and that (hot) girl would receive the honor of walking around in her underwear on TV for the whole world to watch.
The people who run Victoria’s Secret must wake up, every morning, laughing.
Classic Tale Of Girl Meets Boy, Boy Tattoos Poo On Girls’ Back
Tattoo
Once upon a time, a girl fell in love with a boy. The boy was a tattoo artist. One day, the girl cheated on the tattoo artist with his best friend. Then she asked her boyfriend if he would give her a tattoo on her back – a scene from the Narnia trilogy. The boyfriend happily agreed.
So, children…. How do you think this story ends?
If you said “The tattoo artist inked a huge pile of stinky poo on the girl’s back,” you’re right!
Source: The Sun
“Rossie originally tried to have her ex-lover charged with assault but she had signed a consent form agreeing the tattoo design was “at the artist’s discretion”.”
Now, children… what have we learned?
Conrad Murray Gets Maximum Sentence In Michael Jackson Trial
Conrad Murray was just given the maximum sentence for the role he played in the death of Michael Jackson. The 58-year-old cardiologist was sentenced to four years behind bars. Prosecutors also want Murray to pay restitution to Michael Jackson’s three children – Prince, Paris and Blanket – including the $1.8 million cost of Jackson’s funeral. Source: CBS News
My first thought in all of this was: “Holy Crap! Michael Jackson’s funereal cost $1.8 million!!!”
My second thought was: “Oh, wait… it was MICHAEL JACKSON’S funereal. Yeah, that sounds about right.”
And Murray is guilty. So he should pay. Although he probably won’t. Because he’s broke. He was in deep debt when he agreed to serve as Jackson’s personal physician (for $150,000 A MONTH!) and Jackson died before Murray received any money. He might also serve only half of the four years due to overcrowding in California jails.
So, just to sum up… Conrad Murray was a doctor in huge debt. He agreed to be Michael Jackson’s personal doctor for $150,000 month. He administered propofol - a powerful anesthetic that is supposed to be used in hospital settings and has never been approved for sleep treatments – to treat Jackson’s chronic insomnia at home. One day, Murray gave Jackson the drug… and then left the room. And Michael Jackson died.
I guess this is why most drug dealers insist on the money upfront.
